Grocery Store Chain Recalls Hash Brown Potatoes: “May contain golf ball materials”

Harris Teeter, a major grocery store chain issued a product recall today.  Normally this would not catch my eye but just when I started to look away from the story I saw the words,“extraneous golf ball materials.”

Ok, I know you are thinking, Fake News !    No, the Charlotte Observer, one of the most respected newspapers in the country published the story.

My first thought was how did golf balls or golf ball materials get mixed in with the hash browns. I have actually toured a major potato companies manufacturering plant, and no where in the long process of making french fries, or hash browns did I see any evidence of a golf ball within a hundred miles.

As far as “extraneous” golf ball materials, well I admit I had to look up the word extraneous before I assumed the worst. The definition of extraneous is:

“irrelevant or unrelated to the subject being dealt with.” They got that one right. Hash browns and golf balls are worlds apart, till now at least.
As to how the golf balls got mixed in the hash browns, there is always the first suspect you look at, an employee.  Maybe a disgruntled employee who was planning on playing golf that day was called in to work at the last minute and in an extreme sense of rage took out a pocket full of Pro V-1’s and maybe even a handful of tees and threw them into the production line.
Maybe an golf course was sold, and the farmer who grows the potatoes turned a fairway or rough into a potato field, and when harvesting the potatoes, golf balls long ago buried deep in the soil got mixed in with the potatoes. (I know that is a stretch, but this isn’t Dateline)
Could this be the top secret ingredient of the new golf balls that go 350 to 400 yards?  Hash browns are light, so are they part of the inner core of the new technologically advanced balls?  Would that pass USGA inspection?
Which raises another question, who investigates this, the USGA or the FDA?  Hopefully it is the FDA or it will take years to get a ruling from the USGA and by then the rules will be changed again.
On the bright side you the consumer you now have options.  Imagine when you go to your neighborhood cafe for breakfast, and order hash browns, “Would you like that with golf balls or without?”
 “Consumption of the contaminated products can pose a risk, including the possibility of choking. Despite the risk, the company said no injuries have been reported in connected to the food so far.”   You think?
I read in the New York Times the other day that there are 16 Waffle House restaurants within 10 miles of Augusta National GC.  Bubba and his family went there with Bubba in the green jacket after his Masters win. And of course, the Waffle House are famous for their hash browns.
Our top notch investigative team will continue to look for answers to this bizarre story.  In the mean time, eat at your own risk.

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